Tuesday, 14 February 2017

well, well...

So I discovered I can still log on here - at some point I'll decide whether or not to continue with this blog.. I'll just see whichever way the wind blows me - I'm feeling rather floaty at the moment. Perhaps it's all the recent fog that's made me feel drifty and ethereal. Although it could be the brain fog. My life, work, future.. everything has changed, due to a health condition which slowly but surely crept up on me. I won't be able to work on my usual large textile projects any more and am thinking quietly about what my next move might be. First of all will be a nice rest.

A very positive change - last year I took up pottery with the aim of deriving some relaxation. It wasn't entirely what I expected. For a start - I discovered I'm really bad at it! It's just so haaard! It will take forever to actually get anywhere near the quality I'd like to achieve. I learnt that there's a lot of science to grasp, that it's very, very different to textiles - the way you use your body, your movements, your instincts.. that it can all be destroyed at any given moment and that it takes a long time to get a finished product - which may or may not turn out to be what you're expecting.

I like these lessons. Being rubbish is humbling, learning puts us in the moment.. it's all good.

Albeit not as often as I'd like, it's been great to be a beginner at something. That feeling of being rubbish.. full of questions, full of enthusiasm.. a sort of blank canvas. And that's where my life is at just now. A blank canvas, I suppose.

Who knows what the next chapter will bring, but it's coming for me and I choose to embrace it positively and bravely. Life is messy - but still deliciously exciting..